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The Sacred Chalice
The Sacred Chalice is a four part mini-series released by Ninja Sex Party in 2010. This series makes the songs the fourth to eighth to be released by the band. Despite coming out before 2011, the songs weren't on the band's first album NSFW, but Part 1 was on the band's second album Strawberries and Cream which came out in 2013. Lyrics Part 1 The legends say the chalice lies in the mountain of a thousand nights And he who wields it will become crazy awesome (crazy awesome) And all my life, I've wondered what awesomeness was really like So I assembled the greatest warriors of our time It was me, and Ninja Brian And a robot and an elf And a hooker that I hired Uhhh, actually there wasn't a hooker I, uhh, just remembered That was another robot On a quest for destiny and greatness And maybe some bagels 'Cause it was gonna be a long trip We will follow the guiding light of the North Star Onto the adventure of our lives Never stopping, except maybe for the bagels With cream cheese We traveled miles by winter's light Fought a dragon and a mountain lion We don't have any footage But that shit totally happened (Dramatization!) Then one day, we arrived at the drawbridge of medieval times It sounded scary, but the guard seemed really nice And with his help we'll Follow the guiding light of the North Star In whatever direction it points! (North) We'll always fight to be awesome As awesome as part two Part 2 Shadows lie across our hearts as we walk another hundred miles It's only the first day and three fifths of our party have died (Not a good average) Then we saw the waterfall where the stallion of Satan resides We would have to tame him if we wanted to save our lives Because we must follow the guiding light of the North Star Even though it screwed us over a bunch of times What's your problem? Go fuck yourself, star! He didn't mean that Part 3 No lyrics. Part 4 We've made our way inside the cave that we bear-mashed in the mountain side We found the alter of sweetness and on top it lay our prize (Oh shit, the chalice) We fought through the trials and risked our lives just for this one moment to arrive It was emotional and tears sprang to our eyes They took the chalice from her hands and awesomeness was theirs Now Danny can finally shave and cut that stupid hair Then their friends came back to life They even healed the bear And no girl could resist the need to throw her underwear Because we followed the guiding light of the North Star The bond we share we is indestructible and tight Just like my pants And now my heart is filled with the wondrous sight of angel blessings Our quest was over and we had all survived Because friendship and love will always triumph (Quick reprise) This is not the best time to ask but could you tell me Just what is the chance of that blowjob? 1-10 Give me a number If it's one thing I'll put my pants back on